That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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