i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
