can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
