My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize