He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
