like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
You smell like stripper and shame
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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