you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
