Your mouth is God's brothel.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
