Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Randomize
