I CAN MOONWALK!
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
