i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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