he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
