I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
