I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The beer is more important than you right now.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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