So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
