Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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