how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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