I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
