did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
