You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize