My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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