You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
