just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
