Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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