Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize