I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
