pedialite and red bull = repair kit
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
