Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
