But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It's official drugs can't kill me
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
