It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
