I want to have your abortion
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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