Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
