You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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