we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
