My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
