woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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