i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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