I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
