Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
