Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize