Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
