I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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