the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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