if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
