i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize