like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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