I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
