your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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