My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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