He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
