But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
