That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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