She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I have fence marks all over my body
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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