I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
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