ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
