you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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