how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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