The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
operation have a gay friend backfired
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
