i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
