I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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