Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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