No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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