marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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