im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
